¿Cómo está tu tía?

This I thought was really cute and funny (from about a week ago in the preschool class):

[[A. says something about his tía]]
Me: "What about your tío?"
A.: "What's that?"
Me: "Your uncle. You were talking about your aunt, weren't you? What about your uncle?"
A.: "Ohhh. My aunt is Armenian."

OHHhhhh. That explains it. Haha! His aunt can't be a tía because she's Armenian. Adorable. Shows he recognizes the difference between Spanish and Armenian terms.

I Love English Learners

If you've seen Friends, the conversations below might remind you of The One Where Joey Speaks French, where he can break French down by parts but can't use it in a whole sentence.

Preschooler K. likes to say, "I done!" when he's finished something, so I decided to try teaching him to say, "I'm done." Here's my first (I think) attempt:

K: "I done!"
Me: "You're done? Can you say, 'I'm done'?"
K: "I done."
Me: "Can you say, 'I'mmm done'?"
K: "I'mmm done."
Me: "Can you say it faster now? I'm done."
K: "I done."

haha! One day he'll get it. I love that kid.

Reminds me of my earlier conversation with E (he's not an English learner; he just has a little kid accent):

Me: "What color is this?"
E: "Ellow."
Me: "That's right. Yellow. Can you say, 'yellow'?"
E: "Ellow."
Me: "Okay. Can you say, 'yes'?"
E: "Yes."
Me: "Good. Now can you say, 'yyyellow.'? Yellow."
E: "Ellow!"

Haha...Eventually he started saying it correctly. I'm so happy.

So Now I'm Crazy Too?

The other day at the preschool, V. walked up to me during recess and said something like, "I'm giving you a ticket because you're crazy."

I verified with him why I was being ticketed. I wonder what he meant. Am I that weird? Was he just being funny? Was he repeating something he had heard earlier? Was he confused? Haha! So cute.

Frog Rainboots @ Target

Aren't these cute? They made me so happy the other day.

How Old Do You Think I Am?

:Last week @ the preschool:

Note: I don't have this word for word

[Kids say something about kindergarten]
Me: "You guys are going to have SO much fun in kindergarten."
A: "How do you know about kindergarten?"
Me: "I was in kindergarten a loong time ago."
A: "Aren't you in our class?"
Me: "No. I am in your class, but I'm not a preschooler. I'm older than you."
A turns to L and says, "I think she's in fifth grade."

A Special Guest

:@ preschool yesterday:

Mrs. B.: "Tomorrow someone special is coming to visit us."
Kid (I don't know who said this): "I know who it is!"
Mrs. B.: "You know who it is? Who?"
Kid (maybe same kid): "A chicken?"

Although the student was taking a wild guess, he's actually remotely close. Today, the owl lady is coming and bringing in two owls and a hawk (or something else). I'm excited!

Berkeley Professors Say Funny Things

“I spent three days hallucinating with howler monkeys…. It is funny in retrospect.”
-- Professor William Hanks on Palenque, where he got Salmonella

TMI, Dude.

:Today:

A (very matter-of-factly and nonchalantly): "Today I pooped in my pants. And then my grandma wiped me and I took a bath."
Me: "Oh no!"
A: "And sometimes my butt itches."

Tooooo much information. And you're definitely not shy or easily embarrassed.

I'm Either Five or 100

:Today:

Me: "How old do you think I am, V---?"
V.: "Five."
Me: "J---, how old do you think I am?"
J.: "A hundred?"

Haha...so S isn't the only one who thinks I'm five years old...and J thinks I'm 100. Lovely. haha So cute.

Luke was actually close (well, closER). He guessed 16 or something like that the other day.

Mommies, Trash Cans, Food, Death, & Attachment

Wow. The kids made me smile and laugh A LOT today, but I don't think I'll be able to remember everything. Here are the few things that I do remember:

L.: "I miss my mommy."
** She's been saying this every day this week...and luckily she's gotten better at not
crying. ::sigh::
Me: "I miss my mommy too."
** I was trying out a new strategy because two out of my three consolation attempts had
failed. **
S (I think): "You have a mommy?"

Haha! This time I was able to hold back my laughter and give her a serious answer: "Yes I do. I have a mommy and a daddy."

--

The preschoolers were talking about putting things in different places, and then one of them mentioned putting me somewhere, but I didn't hear where, so the following conversation ensued:

**paraphrasing because I can't remember exactly what was said exactly in which order (they all tend to talk or shout at me at the same time)**
Me: "Where are you gonna put me, J---?"
J. (getting slightly embarrassed): "In the lake with your swim suit on."
** I'm glad she had the decency to allow me a swim suit **
Me: "V---, where did you say you'd put me?"
V.: "In my lunch pail."
A.: "We're gonna put Miss ---- in the trash can."
Me (acting sad but then smiling): "In the trash can? That's not nice."
A: "People don't go in the trash."
**I had told them this before**

--

Me (handing each kid a wipey to clean their hands after recess): "You guys are gonna eat something cool. Something yummy."
V (or someone...): "We're gonna eat something cool and yummy!!"
*This made me happy because I hadn't expected them to really pay attention to what I
was saying.

--

Avery: "When you turn 99, your skin peels and then you die. And then you go to the cemetery and then you're a ghost."

--

K: "Sit right here."

He always says that to me unless I sit right next to him.

Today, I said, "I'm sitting right here."
K: "Why you sit there?"

Sometimes he says, "Sit with me!" with an English-learner accent (so cute). He uses a deep, monster-ish voice (I really don't know how else to explain it...raspy?) sometimes that also cracks me up. Aaand sometimes he gets kinda shy, smiley, and giggly around me. I think he became attached to me because he knows I look kinda like him (as far as looking Asian goes) and I seem goofy and soft-spoken (not that he doesn't love his other teachers!!). He used to call me "sister," but then he stopped. I was worried at first after he learned that I would sit next to him during carpet time when he misbehaved because I thought he might misbehave on purpose to get my attention. So cute. I'm flattered. :P

I wish it were safe and appropriate to post pictures and videos of these kids. ::sigh::

Make sure you eat your happy food first!

A: "I'm big!"
Me: "I know! It's because you eat healthy food, huh?"
A: "Yeah."
V: "I eat happy food!"

Distracted By Her Ear Gunk

Yesterday, when I was helping this girl write a final draft of a little paragraph about her "wild thing," she stopped writing and stared at the paper. I assumed she had lost track of where she was in her sentence, so I started reading the next few words. Here is her response:

"I know. I just had gunk in my ears."

Oh...great. I...hope you got it out?

One Girl Thinks I'm Five

Samantha: "I'm four."
Me: "I know!"
Samantha: "Are you five?"

The Cake!

The kids (especially the girls) like making "cakes" out of the woodchips on the playground. I love how when I play along, they smile knowingly and continue playing their cake-making roles. For example, when I point to the ground and say something like, "Wow! This cake is HUGE!" instead of saying, "What cake? We're just pretending!" (like they actually do say about some things) they smile and say, "I know!" or something.

Anyway, today I overheard J. saying, "Hurry! We have to decoration the cake!"

Cute.

Kids and Body Parts

Today I played a game with the preschoolers that involved putting colored Goldfish (those little cheesy crackers I don't like) on circles on a monster's body. When Alex received two Goldfish on the chest circles, he exclaimed, "Look! Boobies!"

::sigh:: Already such a guy. :P

That's Nice, D.

Today I read a book to the whole class (minus the three that were absent, leaving me with only 11) for the first time.

I started reading The Little Green Witch, which is pretty much a Halloween version of The Little Red Hen (you know...the one in which the animals don't want to help the hen do chores and bake the bread...but then when the pie is done, they all want to eat it?), and then D. interrupted and said the following (or something like this):

"Mrs. ____, my socks are shiny."

Umm... That's nice. haha!


*Note: I'm not married; they just find it easier to call me "Mrs."

I Heart Eduardo

Listening to Eduardo Verastegui's "Viva La Locura" at the moment. I like "Tequila" too.

He sings (songs here), acts (he's in Chasing Papi, Bella, etc.), produces movies, etc. He was in one of JLo's music videos ("Ain't it Funny") too.

Too bad he can't be my Spanish tutor. :P

KEVIN!!!

:Last week ... Monday or Tuesday:

*Note: Kevin's a little Asian-American four-year-old

Kevin: "What's my baby's name?"
Me: "Kevin ... or Jack." **He always says that he has a baby named Kevin or Jack**
Kevin: "No. My baby's name is Chinaman!"

Then he kept saying, "Chinaman Chinaman. My baby's name is Chinaman!" Michael, sitting next to him, misunderstood and laughed, saying, "His baby's name is Spiderman."

ROFL ... How did he learn that word? The first time he said that word, I laughed really hard and had to walk away to keep myself from laughing more. Then, I pulled myself together and told him that he shouldn't say that word...or at least I think I did. I hope I did!!

They Call Me "Mommy": Part II

The other day, little Luke ALMOST called me "Mom." He was working on some kind of project at my table, and he said, "Look, Mo--" and then looked REALLY embarrassed. I had never seen him get embarrassed before, so that was pretty cute. I wasn't sure if he actually was about to call me "Mom," but the kid next to him said something like, "Haha! He was gonna call you 'Mom.'" and then Luke didn't deny it. I think part of the reason he almost called me that was because his real mom comes in to help the class every week, and so he probably does tell his mom to look at what he does while they're both in class.

Copycats

I think it's funny how MANY little tricks, behaviors, sayings, beliefs, and attitudes kids these days have are the same ones my friends and I had when we were kids. For example, kids still say in that same mocking tone, "You can't catch me!"

They also like to copy their friends, siblings, classmates, etc. One day, I was doing something with little Samantha at the preschool last week, and I started humming. A few seconds later, she was doing something nearby and started humming too. I had never heard her hum before. lol Chameleon effect, anyone? Learned about that in my Social Psychology textbook. Cute.

Another time, I wiped my mouth with my napkin during luch time, and one of the girls said, "Look, Miss -----. I'm copying you!" and she wiped her mouth with her napkin. Or maybe she said, "I copy you!" I can't remember.

I think I've said this before, but I'd better be careful about what I do in front of the kids.

Pumpkin with a...scarecrow!

:Today:

Me: "Alex, do you remember what the scarecrow's name is?"
Alex: "Pumpkin!"
Me: "Good! And what does 'pumpkin' start with?"
Alex: "Scarecrow."

Haha! I started being more specific after that (e.g., "What letter does 'pumpkin' start with?")

Preschool Observations

* I'll update this as time passes.

Random stuff and things I've noticed about the kids that make me happy:
* They like talking about their siblings. Almost every day, Ruby says to me, "My brother is Sean. He's six."
* E has a brother named Hal (my grandpa's name)
* K likes to ask me, "What's my baby's name?" and it's either Jack or Kevin. lol
* If you want someone to give you an enthusiastic answer, ask Avery a question. Actually, you don't even need to ask a question; just talk to him.
* Alex speaks Armenian to V. and V.'s parents. So cute.
* One day, Alex ran outside the door into V.'s dad's arms, and then the dad picked him up high into the air. Adorable.
* The girls all like pink and purple...and sometimes green.
* S. tries to smile her way out of trouble. It almost works.
* R likes to run around the playground looking for interesting things, and when she does find something, she shouts, "It's a mystery!" or "I found a mystery!"
* L thought it was hilarious when I told Kevin last week to wipe his face and he refused. Today, L said, "Kevin, wipe your face." and laughed.
* They all LOVE the bear hunt song ("We're Going on a Bear Hunt" or something like that).
* K says, "Lue" for "blue."
* E says, "Ello" for "Yellow," although he can say "Yes" perfectly.
--> HE NOW SAYS "yellow" correctly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

"That's my favorite song!"

Two days ago, Avery sang (at the top of his lungs) several lines from Miley Cyrus's "The Climb." Of course, he missed and mixed up a few words, but it was adorable anyway. That pretty much made my week.

Ketchup to Your Friend!

I admit it: I made a lame joke today. I'm hoping the preschoolers will develop good senses of humor.

Luke (behind Avery in line): "Catch up [sounding like 'Ketchup'], Avery! Catch up! Catch up catch up catch up!"
Me: "Ketchup? What about mustard?"
Avery: "Mustard!?!?!"
*Some kids nearby laugh...or maybe that was just wishful thinking and it was just Luke and Avery.*

Who knows if they understood it. I'm just glad Avery thought it was funny.

They're Learning Their Five Senses

We've been going over our senses of smelling, tasting, feeling, hearing, and seeing lately. Avery made it pretty clear today that he understands what his sense of smelling is:

Avery (sitting inside a large blue play tube thing): "I'm using my sense of smell, and someone tooted in here!"

Very good, Avery.

What's even funnier is that he slapped his hand to his forehead again (like he did when this happened) after he said that.

Reminds Me of Princess Leia*

:Today @ the preschool:

Lina (walking in line ahead of Luke): "He's a princess."
Luke: "No. I'm a queen!"

Phew! I thought he'd get mad about her basically calling him a girl. He ended up changing his mind and saying that he was a prince. Haha


*Yeah...I'm lame. Princess Leia...Queen Luke....

I Love You!

Yesterday, little Kevin looked at A while they were all sitting in a line near the drinking fountain (waiting to go inside the classroom) and said, "I love you!"

A apparently didn't know how to react, so he smiled and slapped his hand to his forehead (the "Silly me"/"What was I thinking?" kinda slap--er, more like bonk). I wonder what he was actually thinking. All I know is that the other kids laughed. Good thing no one made fun of Kevin.

Distracted

Mrs. L.: "This is my friend, Molly."
Avery: "It's not real."*
Mrs. L.: "Well, can I pretend she's real?"
Avery (holding up a pair of scissors and not listening): "Um, this is a 'V'."

I think you might have had to be there today when this happened. It made me laugh a lot. Avery's easily distracted and doesn't like doing things he doesn't feel like doing (or saying)...and he'll talk about whatever is on his mind. Apparently he thought it was more pressing to point out the shape of the scissors than to answer his teacher. At least he knows what the letter "V" looks like, right?

*It's funny when they tell adults when things aren't real/when they're "just pretend."

Little People are Hairy

If you've interacted with kids even a little bit, you know they like to ask "Why?" about everything. Today, Jazzlyn asked me about something that apparently interests her:

"Why is my back hairy?"

LOL How are you supposed to respond? I can't even remember what I said.

Then she said, "I think it's because I'm little."

Proud to be a Preschooler

Today, our preschool class (the PM group) got to meet and play with the AM group on the playground.

Avery, proud, hyper, excited, and animated, shouted, "We're PRESCHOOLERS!!!"
[He talks like that ALL the time.]
He continued talking about how he's a preschooler and superhero, wildly flailing his arms and acting out superhero moves. The other kids just looked at him with "What the heck are you smoking?" faces. It was hilarious. Usually our class doesn't really react to Avery's hyperactivity, but these kids were like..."Whoa."

Speaking of being proud of being a preschooler, last week, one of the "big kids" at the elementary school passed by and asked one of the boys if they were preschoolers. The boy nodded, and then his face lit up with a huge smile. We had already talked in class about how cool it is to be a preschooler, so I could tell right away that he was pretty happy about his ... social/educational status.

Grape--With a "P"

Today at the preschool one of the teachers was trying to get the kids to guess what was in one of the "P" bags (it had to be something that starts with the letter "P"). This time it was a plum, but after a few hints, one kid (I think it was Alex) tried guessing:

Alex: "Grape!"
Mrs. B.: "But it has to start with a 'P'."
Alex: "Puh-grape!"

Silly boy.

They Call Me "Mommy"

This happened a couple of weeks ago:

L. (preschooler): "Mommy!"
[I look down at her]
L.: "Oops. I called you 'Mommy.' heeheehee"

Soo cute.

Napkins & Buttons

Last week, I told Michael, a preschooler, that he should open his napkin so that he has more of it to use.

Today, he held up his open napkin and said, "Mrs. F---, I opened my napkin!"

A few other kids held up theirs and said, "Me too!"

Cute! My dad actually started this when he told my cousins, brother, and me to open up our napkins when we were little. Funny how much kids listen sometimes.

That reminded me of when I told V. (another preschooler) that putting two soft blocks together made something that looked "like a button" for a rocket launcher or something (if you push the middle part down, it goes through the other part like a button). A few days later, he came up to me and said, "Look. It's like a button." That was the first indication that these kids will actually listen and understand me. I have to be careful. haha

Hot Cats

Luke: "Let's talk about hot things. Fire...hot chocolate..."
Me: "Good idea! That's right. What else is hot?"
Ethan: "Cats."
Me: "Cats??"
Ethan: "Yeah...when they're on fire."

LOL WHAT??!

Don't Be a Bad Boy!

Today Alex looked at Mrs. B. and J., trying to figure out what they were talking about. Finally, he said to Mrs. B., "Is she a bad boy?"

Gotta Love Preschoolers' Enthusiasm

Mrs. L. (giving Avery a sticker): "Avery, I'm giving you the world."
Avery (running to his guardian): "[Guardian], look! I GOT THE WORLD!!!!!"

First Graders!!

I've wanted to volunteer with first graders for forever (I only interacted a little with them in Oakland since I was mostly with third through fifth graders), and I finally got the chance to today (I called about volunteering at this elementary school, but only fifth and sixth grade teachers responded to the email asking teachers if they wanted a volunteer in their classroom).

Anyway, today was the elementary school's (I work at a preschool but volunteer at an elementary school) Read-a-Thon, so since the fifth graders didn't need me for about half an hour (all they did was read on their own), the teacher had me go read to first graders instead (some high schoolers did too). First, I saw my adorable little neighbor, and then I had a fun time with the two girls to whom I read. Here's one of the funny things S. said about Winnie the Pooh:

"He's fat! We should call him 'Fatty the Pooh.'"

More of Alex's Sweetness

Today at lunch Alex wanted to tell me something that I thought was adorable:

Alex: "Miss F----."
Me: "Yes?"
Alex (pointing to Michael, who was sitting next to him): "He's my buddy."
Me: "That's right!"
Alex (smiling and putting his right arm around him gently): "We're friends!"

Oh my gosh. So cute. This is the same Alex who said that D. is "beautiful."

Siblings For Sale!

.Today.

Me: "Alex, do you have any sisters?"
Alex: "No, but I have aunts."
Me: "Ohh. Do you have any brothers?"
Alex: "No. I have to go buy one."

He then continued to talk about having aunts ("ants"?).

I hadn't really thought about how kids might think babies are created/brought into a home.

Kids and Their Potty Words

.Yesterday.

The main preschool teacher was reading a book about animals that didn't want to go into a pig sty because it smelled really bad.

Teacher: "Ugh... It smells...so...bad!"
Avery (excitedly): "There's poop in there!"

Avery II

My mom didn't think this was that funny, but I thought it was--especially since I was able to hear his voice.

Avery: [Says something about going to a football game for "John" this past weekend]
Me: "Ohh. How fun! Who's John? Is that your brother?"
Avery: "No. Um...He...He's Kathy's son."

LOL Since I know who Kathy is. I love this kid.

D.

Alex (whispering as he points at D.): "That's D.*"
Me: "That's right."
Alex (sincerely, still whispering): "She's beautiful."

Isn't that sweet? Just a few minutes before, a third-ish grader passed by D., telling the main preschool teacher, "She is sooo cute." Hope she stays as modest as she is now--despite the amount of attention she will probably receive from now on.


* "D." isn't her real name.

Avery

Teacher (reading a book showing a picture of a pig to the class): "Do you guys have curly tails?"
Class (Calmly): "Noooo."
Avery (standing up and lifting his arms excitedly): "We have BUTTS!"

ROFL! Usually we're not supposed to let the kids say potty words, but I let this one go because he meant it in a clean, honest way, and the other teacher didn't say anything (I don't even know if she noticed).

Honestly, Avery is one of the cutest and most hilarious and talkative kids I've ever met.

J. is Funny

Had two experiences with J. at the preschool today:

1--

Me (pointing at her painting): "Is this a sun?"
J: "Yeah."
Me: "What about this?"
J: "That's a rainbow."
Me: "Ohh. How pretty! What about this one? What is that?"
J: "Those are germs."

LOL I'd never heard of a kid drawing germs before.

2--

Me (picking up a plastic doll): "Oh! This is a girl."
J: "Yeah. It looks like a boy, and it's dirty, but it's a girl."

She made it sound like because it was dirty, it was a boy, but she could have meant that it's a boy and it's hard to tell that it's a girl because it's dirty. Either way, she made me laugh.

Random Quotes

So that I can clear out some of my Facebook profile quotes:

Blake H: "Do you guys have loud farts?"

Kurtis (after I had jokingly told him that I had left a potato on the counter because it was our new pet): "I feel like 'Fred' is a good name for a potato."

Nicole: "Music and food don't taste the same."
--> She was trying to say that once you fall for a guy, food and music just aren't the same anymore.

"One reported feeling orgasm in the phantom foot as well as the genitals--and enjoyed it intensely (Ramachandran & Blakeslee, 1998)."
-- p. 144 of Biological Psychology (10th Edition) - Kalat

"Sexual motivation was unaffected, although damage to the cerebellum presumably would have made copulation awkward."
-- Research in Psychology: Methods and Design (4th Edition)

"People want me to do everything for them. What they don't realize is that they have the power. You want to see a miracle? Be the miracle."
-- God (from Bruce Almighty)

Student: "Now that you have your degree, what are you going to apply your psychology to?"
Natalie Portman: "Messing with people."

C: "We should drink but have a sleepover so we don't have to worry about driving."
J: "Yeah. And then we can get wasted."
C: "Julie!"
J: "Moderately!"
C: "I don't think it's possible to be moderately wasted."
*Part of the funniness of this is that J is the last person you'd expect to say something like that. haha!

Corrie: "I think sex is hilarious."
Blake H: "I love it!"
[We were both talking about sex as a topic]

More Jajas

My Spanish teacher (S.C.) was reading off English words she wanted us to say in Spanish:

S.C.: "To be born."
Class: "Nacer."
S.C.: "To hate."
Class: "Odiar."
S.C.: "To have good babies."
[Brief confusion, followed by an uproar of laughter]
S.C.: "O! 'To have a good/bad time'! I need my glasses!"

[Later]
S.C.: "Quieren ir a la casa?" [You want to go home?]
Class: "Sí." [Yes]
S.C.: "Pues no." [Well no.]

So mean. But hilarious. The class deserves to be teased like that (everyone always complains and says rude and annoying things).

Spanish Got Dirty

I'd never laughed so hard in a Spanish class before today.

Girl (yes--the same funny "Girl"): "How do you say 'to shave your legs'?"
Girl 2: "You shave every day?"
Girl: "I shave EVERYTHING."

Instructor: "What is [Paco or some other Spanish name she made up for this question] doing?"
Class (in Spanish): "Taking a shower."
Instructor: "Bien. And what is in his hand?"
[Class hesitates]
Girl: "WHAT?!?!!!"
*The answer was "soap," by the way. lol

This one page in our textbook has drawings of people doing various things while getting ready to leave in the morning and sleep at night, and one of the female cartoon's eyes looked awful. I guess the artist was trying to make her look tired, but she looked as if she had a black eye. I'll post a picture of it so you can see. When the teacher asked us what the female cartoon does at night, someone automatically said, "She gets into fights." So hilarious. I think you just had to be there.

This blog is turning into my online GHAD (Get Happy Already, Dammit!) book. Maybe I'll move some of the things from my actual GHAD book to this site. A GHAD book, by the way, is pretty much a book that makes you happy when you're in a bad mood. Mine's full of inside jokes, friends' food preferences (yes...I do pay attention to this lol), pictures, old notes from friends, etc.

I like this commercial (and the other Zespri Gold commercials) because of Kenji Sakaguchi.

I Like My Spanish Class

[Girl walks into class at 8am]
Girl: "Yo early yo."

Girl: "Crap!"
Profesora: "How do you say 'crap' in Spanish?"
Girl: "Crapo."

Girl: "I've taken Spanish 12 times."
[Class laughs]
Girl: "Okay...maybe not 12. Six."

Girl: "How do you say, 'to rollerblade' [or something like that; I can't remember]? Isn't it something like 'montar a montaña'?"

"Girl" is always the same person.

My First FCC Spanish Assignment

...asked me to choose the item in each group that didn't belong. Here was the last group for this assignment:

8. • vender
   • regatear
   • ropa interior
   • gastar

I liked how "ropa interior" (underwear) was the misfit. lol

Yes...I'm taking another Spanish 2 class because I took Spanish 3 five years ago.

drew

Drew: "I'm four feet tall."
Me: "That's really tall!"
Drew: "I KNOW!!"

I take six-year-old Drew and his sister from gakko to daycare, and they always say funny things, but I either forget exactly what they said, or the quotes don't seem as funny typed out like this. I thought this was cute though.

My favorite moment was probably when he covered his eyes with his seatbelt because his sister told him to. He was smiling and covering his eyes...it was so cute.

More Gramma

I think there'll be a lot of Grandma quotes here. Here are some more from today:


::Mom says something about chopping off the penises of men who cheat on their wives::
Grandma: "How gross."

::I talk and laugh about how I couldn't kill a humongous spider because it suddenly disappeared::
Grandma (in Japanese): "She's laughing by herself."


That second one doesn't seem very funny written out.

Oh, Grandma.

Today:

Mom: "She's a witch!"
Grandma: "Everybody's a bitch."
Mom: "I said 'witch.'"

* Note: I think my grandma was mocking my mom by saying that my mom thinks everyone's a bitch, although it's weird because my mom doesn't call people bitches. lol

Anthony Bourdain + DABDA Reference!

Anthony Bourdain's No Reservations is one of my favorite TV shows because you get to watch him travel around the world to do and observe cool things and eat interesting kinds of food. I was watching the episode on Sweden, and at the very end, Bourdain talks about talking (throughout the show he makes reflections on what he experienced on his trips) with some people about how he hates ABBA:

"It was on and on, deeper and deeper. So much denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally a kind of acceptance."

DABDA! I remember studying these stages in AP Psych in high school. Here is some info on the five stages of grief/dealing with loss, tragedy, etc.

Homer Simpson goes through these stages in an episode of The Simpsons (I think it was the one where he eats the poisonous part of fugu, pufferfish, @ a Japanese place), but I can't find that clip online, and I'm too lazy right now to see if I have the episode on DVD somewhere.

My Grandma is Hilarious

Mom: "What about Hiroko?"
Grandma: "Hiroko doesn't have a mother."

::Corrie sneezes::
Grandma [looks up]: "What was that?"

Funny Quotes of the Day

New goal: Obtain a hula hoop and use it every day.

On to the quotes:
*Note: These are third and fourth graders.

Xiomara: "Help me write a sentence for this word ['awkward']."
Corrie: "Okay."
Xiomara: "I know: 'I told my friend after she came back from a party that she looked awkward.'"

[After an insulting discussion of how a student has a brain from KFC]
Jeremiah: "I have TWO brains."
Xiomara: "You got a half...of one."
Larry: "Nah...he has a chicken wing."

[Students argue and insult each other]
Nenechi (disappointed): "This is a Catholic school."
Xiomara: "Shut up, Nitch."
Nenechi (calmly): "Exactly."

Xiomara: "They have blankets in their trunk? They ghetto."

might use this. just wanted to claim the "miek0" first.