Oops! I mean--

Hilarious when people say things they don't mean and end up being unintentionally offensive.

Example 1:
Brother: "I made that one mistake and I felt so bad...but I tried so hard!"
Me: "Nooobody cares."
[I was responding to the first part about him making one mistake]

Example 2:
Me: "If anyone wants some entertainment, be confused, or feel better about themselves, all they have to do is talk to me."
Blake: "Yep."

A Little Football?

I don't remember the exact words that the teacher was using, but here is the funniest thing I witnessed today at a school:

Teacher: "Jake said that they would watch a little football and then go home."
Kindergartner (thoroughly perplexed): "A little football?"

Someone was thinkin' a little bit too literally. LOL